Catatan harian si pengembara dalam samsara

6th Chapter Patience

1. Good works gathered in a thousand ages, such as deeds of generosity, or offerings to the blissful ones – a single flash of anger shatters them.

2, No evil is there similar to anger, no austerity to be compared with patience, steep yourself, therefore, in patience – in all ways, urgently, with zeal.

3. Those tormented by the pain of anger, will never know tranquility of mind – strangers they will be to every pleasure; sleep departs them, they can never rest.

4. Noble chieftains full of hate will be attacked and slain, by even those who look to them for honors and possessions.

5. From family and friends estranged, and shunned by those attracted by their bounty, men of anger have no joy, forsaken by all happiness and peace.

6. All these ills are brought about by wrath. Our sorrow-bearing enemy. But those who seize and crush their anger down will find their joy in this and future lives.

7. Getting what I do not want, and all that hinders my desire – there my mind finds fuel for misery; anger springs from it, oppressing me.

8. therefore I will utterly destroy, the sustenance of this my enemy. My foe, whose sole intention is to bring me injury and sorrow.

9. So come what may, I’ll never harm my cheerful happiness of mind. Depression never brings me what I want; my virtue will be warped and marred by it.

10. If there is a remedy when trouble strikes, what reason is there for despondency? And if there is no help for it, what use if there in being sad?

11. Pain, humiliation, insults or rebukes. We do not want them, either for ourselves or those we love. For those we do not like, it’s quite the opposite!

12. The cause of happiness comes rarely, and many are the seeds of suffering! But if I have no pain, I’ll never long for freedom; therefore, O my mind, be steadfast!

13. The Karna folk, devoted to the Goddess, endure the meaningless austerities, of being cut and burned, why am I so timid on the path of freedom?

14. There’s nothing that does not grow light, through habit and familiarity. Putting up with  little cares, I’ll train myself to bear with great adversity.

15. And do I not already bear with common irritations – bites and stings of snakes and flies. Experiences of hunger and of thirst, and painful rashes on my skin?

16. Heat and cold, the wind and rain, sickness, prison, beatings – I’ll not fret about such things, to do so only aggravates my trouble.

17. There are some whose bravery increases at the sight of their own blood. While some lose ll their strength and faint, when it’s another’s blood they see!

18. This results from how the mind is set, in steadfastness or cowardice. And so I’ll scorn all injury, and hardships I will disregard!

19. When sorrows fall upon the wise, their minds remain serene and undisturbed. For in their war against defiled emotion, many are the hardships, as in every battle.

20. Thinking scorn of every pain, and vanquishing such foes as hatred; these are exploits of a conquering hero. The rest is slaying what is dead already!

21. Suffering also has its worth. Through sorrow, pride is driven out, and pity felt for those who wander in samsara; evil is avoided, goodness seems delightful.

22. I am not angry with my bile and other humors – fertile source of pain and suffering! So why should I resent my fellow creatures, victims, too, of like conditioned?

23. For though they are unlooked for, undesired, these ills afflict us all the same. And likewise, though unwanted and unsought, defilements nonetheless are quick to come.

24. Never thinking, “Now I will be angry”. People are impulsively caught up in anger, irritation, likewise, comes – though never plans to be experienced!

25. Every injury whatever, the whole variety of evil deeds is brought about circumstances. None is independent, none autonomous.

26, Conditions, once assembled, have no thought, that now they will give rise to some result. And that which is engendered does not think, that is has been produced by such conditions.

27. That which is referred to as the Primal Substance, that which has been labeled as the self. Do not come into being thinking, “That is how I will arise”.

28. That which is not manifest is not yet there, so what could want to come to be? And permanently drawn forward its object. It can never cease form being so.

29. Indeed! This self, if permanent, is certainly impassible like space itself. And should it meet with other factors, how should they affect it, since it is unchanging?

30. If, when things occur, it stays unchanged and as before, what influence has action had on it? They say that this affects the self, but what connection could there be between them?

31. All things, then, depend on something else, on this depend the fact that none are independent. Knowing this, we will not be annoyed at objects, that resembled magical appearance.

32. “Resistance”, you may say, “is out of place, for what will be opposed by whom?” The stream of suffering is cut through by patience, there’s noting inappropriate in wanting that!

33. Thun, when enemies of friends, are seen to act improperly, be calm and call to mind, that everything arises from conditions.

34. If things occurred to living beings, following their wishes and intentions, how could sorrow ever come to them – for there is no one who desire to suffer?

35. Yet carelessly, all unaware, they tear themselves on thorns and briars, and ardent in pursuit of wives and goods, they starve themselves of nourishment.

36. Some hang themselves or leap into the void, or eat bad food or swallow deadly poison, or by their evil conduct, bring destruction on themselves.

37. For when affliction seizes them, they kill themselves, the selves they love so much. So how could they not be the cause or pain and suffering for others?

38. And when, as victims of defilements, beings even cause their own destruction, even if compassion does not rise in us. We can at least refrain from being angry.

39. If those who are like wanton children, are by nature prone to injure others, what point is there in being angry – like resenting fire for its heat?

40. And if their faults are fleeting and contingent, if living beings are by nature wholesome, it’s likewise senseless to resent them – as well be angry at the sky for having clouds!

41. Although indeed it is the stick that hurts me, I am angry at the one who wields it, striking me. But he is driven and impelled by anger – so it is his wrath I should resent.

42. I it was who in the past, did harm to beings such as these. And so, when others do me mischief, it is only just that they should injure me.

43. Their weapons and my body – both are causes of my suffering! They their weapons drew, while I held out my body. Who then is more worthy of my anger?

44. This human form is like a running sore; merely touched, it cannot stand the pain! I’m the one who clings to it with blind attachment; whom should others be the object of our anger?

45. We who are like senseless children, shrink from suffering, but love its causes. We hurt ourselves, our pain is self-inflicted! Why should others be the object of our anger?

46. Who indeed should I be angry with? This pain is all my own contriving – likewise all the janitors of hell, and all the groves of razor trees!

47, Those who harm me come against me, summoned by my evil karma. But they will be the ones who go to hell, and so it is myself who bring their ruin.

48. Because of them, and through the exercise of patience, my many sins are cleansed and purified. But they will be the ones who thanks to me, will have the long-drawn agonies of hell.

49. Therefore I am their tormentor! Therefore it is they who bring me benefit! Thus with what perversity, pernicious mind, will you be angry with your enemies?

50. For if a patient quality of mind is mine, I shall avoid the pains of hell. But though indeed I save myself, what of my foes, what fate’s in store for them?

51. If I repay them harm for harm, indeed they’ll not be saved thereby; and all my noble actions will be spoiled, austerity of patience brought of nothing.

52. The mind is bodiless, by no one can it be destroyed, and yet it grasps the body tightly, falling victim to be the body’s pain.

53. Scorn and hostile words, and comments that I do not like to hear – my body is not harmed by other. what reason do you have, O mind, for your resentment?

54. Contempt and scorn that others show me, now and in my future lives – since none of it can bite and swallow me, why is it that I’m so averse to it?

55. Perhaps I turn from it because it hinders me from having what I want. but all my property I’ll leave behind. While sins will keep me steady company.

57. One man dreams he lives a hundred years, of happiness, but then he wakes, another dreams an instant’s joy, but then, he likewise, wakes.

58. And when they wake, the happiness of both is finished, never to return. Likewise, when the hour of death comes round, our lives are over, whether brief or long.

59. Though we be rich in worldly goods, delighting in our wealth for many years, despoiled and stripped as though by thieves, we must go naked and with empty hands.

60. Perhaps we’ll claim that by our wealth we live, and living gather merit, dissipating well. But if we’re ruthless, for the sake of grain, it’s evil we will gather, dissipating merit!

61. What use then will our lives have been, when all is so degenerate and spoiled? When use is there in living such a life, when evil is the only consequence?

62. If, when others slander us, we claim, our anger is because they harm themselves, how is it we do not resent, their slander when it’s aimed at someone else?

63. If we bear with such antipathy, remarking that it’s due to other factors, why are we impatient when they slander us? Emotion, after all, has been the cause of it.

64. Even those who vilify and undermine, the sacred doctrine, images, and stupas, are not the proper objects of our anger. The buddhas are themselves untouched thereby.

65. And even if our teachers, relatives and friends are now the object of aggression, all derives from factors just explained. This we should perceive, and curb our wrath.

66. Beings suffer injury alike. From lifeless things as well as living being. So why be angry only with the latter? Rather let us simply bear with harm.

67. Some do evil things because of ignorance. Some respond with anger, being ignorant. Which of them is faultless in his acts? To whom shall error be attributed?

68. Rather, why did I do evil in the past, that cause me harm at others’ hands? All that happens is the fruit of karma; why then should I now be angry?

69. This I see and therefore, come what may, I’ll hold fast to the virtuous path, and foster in the hearts of all, an attitude of mutual love.

70. For when a building is ablaze, and flames leap out from house to house. The wise course is to take and fling away. The straw and anything that spreads the fire.

71. In fear that merit might be all consumed, we should at once cast far away. Our mind’s attachments: tinder for the fiery flames of hate.

72. Is not a man relieved when, though condemned to death, he’s freed, his hand cut off in ransom for his life? Enduring likewise merely human ills, am I not happy to avoid the pains of hell?

73. If pains of even this, my present life, are now beyond my strength to bear. Why do I not overthrow my anger, cause of future sorrows in infernal torment?

74. For sake of gaining all that I desired, a thousand times I underwent. The tortures of the realms of hell – achieving nothing for myself and others.

75. The present aches are nothing to compare with those, and yet great benefits may come from them. These troubles that dispel the pains of wanderers – how could I not rejoice in them?

76. When others take delight, in giving praise to those endowed with talents, Why, O mind, do you not find, A joy likewise, in praising them?

77. The pleasure that you gain therefrom itself gives rise to stainless happiness. It’s urged on us by all the holy ones, and is the perfect way of winning others.

78. “But they’re the ones who’ll have the happiness,” you say. If this then is a joy you would resent, abandon paying wages and returning favors, you will be the loser – both in this life and the next!”

79. When praise is heaped upon your merits, you’re keen that others should rejoice in them. But when the compliment is paid to others, your joy is oh so slow and grudging.

80. You should want the happiness of beings. Have wished to be enlightened for their sake. So why should others irk you when they find some little pleasure for themselves?

81. If you truly wish that beings be enlightened, venerated by the triple world, when petty marks of favor come their way, why oh why, are you in torment?

82. When dependents who rely on you, to whom you are obliged to give support, find for themselves the means of livelihood. Will you not be happy, will you once again be angry?

83. If even this you do not want for beings, how could you want buddhahood for them? And how can anyone have bodhicitta and resent the good that others have?

84. If someone else receives a gift, or if that gift stays in the benefactor’s house, in neither case will it be yours – so, given or withheld, why is it your concern?

85. Tell me, why don’t you resent yourself, you who throw your merit, faith, and all your qualities so far away? Why do you not cultivate the cause of riches?

86. All the evil you have done, you cheerfully neglect to purify. And do you further wish to watch yourself, with others who have earned their merit?

87. If unhappiness befalls your enemy, why should this be a cause for your rejoicing? The wishes of your mind alone, will not in fact contrive his injury.

88. And if your hostile wishes were to bring them harm, again, what cause of joy is that to you? “Why, then I should be satisfied!” – are these your thoughts? Is anything more ruinous than that?

89. Caught upon the hook, unbearable and sharp, cast by the fisherman, my own defilements, I’ll be flung into the cauldrons of the pit, and surely parboiled by the janitors of hell!

90. The rigmarole of praise and fame, serves not to increase merit or one’s span of life. Bestowing neither health nor strength and nothing for the body’s ease.

91. If I am wise in what is good for me, I’ll ask what benefit these bring. For if it’s entertainment I desire, I might as well resort to alcohol and cards!”

92. We lose our lives, our wealth we squander, all for reputation’s sake. What use are words, and whom will they delight, when we are dead and in our graves?

93. Children can’t help crying when their sand castles come crumbling down. Our minds are so like them when praise and reputation start to fail.

94. Short-lives sound, devoid of intellect, can never in itself intend to praise us. “But it’s the joy that others take in me.”  you say – are these the shoddy causes of your pleasure?

95. What is it to me if others should delight in someone else, or even in myself? Their pleasure’s theirs, and theirs alone. What part of it could be for my enjoyment?

96. If I am happy at the joy of those who take delight, then everyone should be a source of joy to me. Why, when glory goes everywhere, am I no happy with this cause of happiness?

97. The satisfaction that is mine, from thinking, “I am being praised” is unacceptable to common sense, and nothing but the silly ways of children.

98. Praise and compliments disturb me, sapping my revulsion with samsara. I start to covet others’ qualities, and thus all excellence degenerates.

99. Those who stay close by me, then, to ruin my good name and cut me down to size are surely there protecting me from falling into ruin in the realm of sorrow.

100. For I am one who strives for freedom – I must not be caught by wealth and honors, How could I be angry with the ones, who work to loose me from my fetters?

101. They, like the Buddha’s very blessing, bar my way, determined as I am, to plunge myself headlong in sorrow: how could I be angry with them?

102. We should not be angty, saying, “They are obstacles to virtue” is not patience the supreme austerity, and is this not my chosen discipline?

103. If I fail to practice patience, hindered by my own deficiency, I am myself the obstacle to gaining merit, yet so close at hand.

104. For nothing comes except through other factors, and comes to be, those factors being present. If one thing is the cause of something else, how could it then be said to hinder it?

105. The beggars who arrive at proper times, are not an obstacle to generosity. We cannot say that those who give the vows are causing hindrances to ordination!

106. The beggars in this world are many, attackers are comparatively few. For as I do not harm to others, those who do me injury are rare.

107. So like a treasure found at home, enriching me without fatigue. All enemies are helpers in my bodhisattva work and therefore they should be a joy to me.

108. The fruits of patience are for them and me, for both of us have brought it into being. And yet to them they must be offered first, for of my patience they have been the cause.

109. Yet If I say my foe should not be praised, since he did not intend to stimulate my patience, why do I revere the sacred Doctrine, cause indeed of my attainment?

110. “This enemy conspired to harm me”, I protest. “And therefore should receive no honors”. But had he worked to help me, like a doctor, how could I have brought forth patience?

111. Because of those whose minds are full of anger, I engender patience in myself. They are thus the cause of patience, fit for veneration, like the Doctrine.

112. The worlds of beings are a buddhafield, thus the Mighty Lord has taught. For many who have sought the happiness of others, have gone beyond, attaining to perfection.

113. Thus the state of buddhahood depends on beings and the buddhas equally. By what tradition is it then that buddhas, but not beings are revered?

114. Their arms are not, of course, the same. But it is by their fruits that we should know them, and so we see the excellence of beings – beings and the buddhas are indeed the same!

115. Offerings made to one who loves, reveals the eminence of living beings. Merit that accrues from faith in Buddha reveals in turn the Buddha’s eminence.

116. Since they are both the means of winning buddhahood, we say that beings are the same as buddhas, even though they are not equal in the boundless ocean of a buddha’s merit.

117. Yet if a tiny part of that great merit were found to be continued in certain beings’ hearts, the three worlds made in offering to them would be a slight, a very little thing.

118. A share in bringing forth the supreme state of buddhahood is thus possessed by everyone. This demonstrates the reason why they are the proper object of my reverence.

119. As buddhas are my constant friends, boundless in the benefits they bring to me, how else may I repay their goodness, but by making living beings happy?

120. By helping beings we repay the ones who gave themselves for us and plunged into the hells. Should beings therefore do great harm to me, I’ll strive to bring them only benefit.

121. For if the ones who are my lords and teachers, for beings’ sake are careless even of their bodies, why should I, a fool, behave with such conceit? Why should I not become the slave of others?

122. Buddhas are made happy by the joy of beings. They sorrow, they lament when beings suffer, bringing joy to beings, then I please the Buddhas also – offending them, the Buddhas I offered.

123. Just as when a man who’s tortured in a fire, remains unmoved by little favors done to him. There’s no way to delight the great compassionate buddhas, while we ourselves are causes of another’s pain.

124. The damage I have done to wandering beings saddens all the buddhas in their great compassion. Therefore, all these sins I will confess today and pray that they will bear with me.

125. And that I might rejoice the buddhas’ hearts. I will be master of myself, and be the servant of the worlds – and not respond though others trample, wound, or kill me. Now let the guardians of the world rejoice!

126. The great compassionate lords consider as their own, all wanderers – of this there is no doubt. Beings, then, are Buddha’s very self. Thus how can I not treat them with respect?

127. Venerating them will please the buddha’s hearts, and perfectly secure the welfare of myself. This will drive away the sorrows of the world, and therefore it will be my constant practice.

128. Imagine that the steward of a king does injury to multitudes of people. Those among the injured who are wise will not respond with violence, even if they can.

129. For stewards, after all, are not alone. They are supported by the kingly power. Likewise I should not make light of lesser men who do me little injuries.

130. For they have guardians of hell for allies, and also the compassionate buddhas. Therefore I’ll respect all living beings. As though they were the subjects of that wrathful king.

131. And yet, the pains of hell to be endured, through making living beings suffer – could these ever be unleashed on us, by all the fury of an angry king?

132. And even if that king were pleased, enlightenment he could not give to us. For this will only be achieved by bringing happiness to living beings.

133. Granted, then, that future buddhahood, is forged through bringing happiness to beings. How can I not see that glory, fame and pleasure, even in this life will likewise come?

134. For patience in samsara brings such things, as beauty, health, and good renown. Its fruit is great longevity. The vast contentment of a universal king.

~ The Way of the Bodhisattva ~

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